What the Fuck is Balance in Life?

Hey y'all, I am still kicking and haven't totally fallen off of the wagon for a while now.  Well not the weight loss wagon at least, just the blogging wagon!  Wow, time is falling by me faster then I can even imagine and next thing I know its weeks since I wrote a post. Hmm, I have been trying to find a balance of work (oh fuck what work.... its wetter then hell out here and none of my full time kids are coming due to that!), family life and my weight loss/exercise life.  Ok don't go bitching me out yet, I know its all one life I live, just different areas I am trying to keep a float right now.

So for working life.....

When I have kids, which like I said is very few and far between right now, because my full time parents all work out side and well when your work site is flooded out due to water from the freaking snow we had all winter and then the bloody rain that seems to keep coming, it kinda hard to work.  But there is the odd day in the week I have one extra little kiddy running around my house.  I am hoping soon things will pick up again, money is getting really tight, and no so easy to pay off loans I took out for this daycare business when I don't have money coming into to pay them.  Thank the lord, most of the loans were from family member's that understand and are willing and able to wait a little longer to get their money back.  My I love my family, just hate the thought of having to keep them waiting so long..... any who this paragraph really has shit all to do with weight loss or anything in general!!! Sorry for boring you about all that crap.

Family life.......

At this time isn't all to bad at all.  One plus on my side with the fucked up Spring we have had, I get to see my husband more then usual.  Cause lets face it again, they aren't out seeding cause all of our fields are under water!  So instead of coming home from his full time job in the city and have the quickest supper one could imagine and then running out to the field to relieve his dad for the evening, he gets to just stay home and help out with the kids.  On the other hand, if (and that's the biggest fucking IF one could say) the weather co-operates we really wont be seeing much of him cause they will be working 24-7 to get those crops in.  As for my own kids, lets just say they are keeping me very busy too.  Both my oldest son and my daughter are in soccer this year, which runs twice a week, so that eats up a full evening, seems how we live a good half hour from the town we play in and they are practicing for an hour and a half.  Good thing soccer season here only runs for a few months!  It wears me out and I am just the momma driving not the kids playing.  And wee one.... wow, does he get into mischief and keep me going too.  He is just starting to walk and well, I don't want him to yet. He is my baby and my last baby, and he's just growing up way to fast for my liking.  Along with soccer and running after the 14 month old, I am still tutoring my son on the evenings he isn't playing sports with his writing, reading and fine motor skills.  We are thinking he is finally catching up a bit and hopefully by the beginning of next school year he will be right where he needs to be to start Grade 2 and not be behind.  Its truly hard to deal with all this and not blame yourself on why things happen to your children.  I keep thinking its my fault he has a learning disorder, I must have done something while I was pregnant for this to happen, or I didn't try hard enough to teach him when he was little.  These are all things that have run through my mind the last while on why he has a learning disorder.

Weight loss and exercise life.....

Wow, now this is very time consuming!  But I have been doing good and have lost almost 20 pounds in the last month or so.  Now of course some of this has to do with a change in my medications but still alot has to do with excising my ASS off.  I try to get 2 hours a day in for exercising, and lets say that ain't easy with a family of 4 and myself along with everything else that has to get done in a day.  I try to do a good hour in the morning and a half hour at "quiet time" in the afternoon and another half hour after the kidlets are in bed.  Now, before you go giving my shit again.  I know its better to do it all at once to keep your heart rate up and going, but it just doesn't work for me that way.  I get up at 4:45 am, already I am not getting up any earlier when I don't get to bed till 11 pm or later some nights.  So, I have found breaking it up this way is the only way I can get it all in.  And as for my eating, for the most part I am doing pretty darn good.  I have stopped following Weight Watchers for now and I am counting calories in and calories out, which to me is just as time consuming as WW. 

alot left at the end of a day to do.  But I just remember there is always tomorrow for it!!!!