Monday, March 14, 2011

Oh what a week

So I can't say I fell off the wagon totally this week but I defiantly had alot of struggles.  A long time school friend of mine lost her mother to cancer last week and with that information  I have found myself really worrying and thinking about my own family.  My dad has cancer and while I am no longer really close to him like I was when I was a child, it breaks my heart to think I could loss him at a young age also.  Not only myself being younger but also my father as he is only in his yearly 50's.  Go to this ladies funeral only mad it more surreal to me, that I too really could be planning my fathers funeral in the near future.  I don't want to do that, I love my dad no matter what, he is my father but at the same time he has hurt me in so many ways and I just don't know how to deal with it any longer.I don't know what to do or think about the whole situation and what could come to be in the near future.  As for that, instead of talking to others, like my mom, husband or close friends, what do I do???? YES you are right I turned to food yet again.  Why I don't know?  I need to figure out, retrain myself not to turn to food for comfort.  Its really not going to talk me through my emotions more tell me how I should deal with things, all the food is doing is killing me faster too.  I don't want that, I want to be here for my family, my husband, my children.  If I keep turning to food the way I do all I am doing is hindering my journey to a healthier me, a skinnier me, a more active me.  So for this week I have jumped back on the the healthy wagon and I am going to keep moving forward, I am not going to give into my destructive ways again.  I know I can do this no matter what comes my way or how hard it really is.  I am a strong person and I need to keep strong for my family.

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there!! You can do it.

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  2. You will get through the rough patches. I've had a month of not eating enough to eating too much and its only now, 4 weeks after after my grandfathers sudden death that I am getting back into the pattern I was at before. Shock and worry can do a lot to a person - especially eating habits.

    Don't be so tough on yourself and stay confident this will pass in time. x

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